un-spendable money - the test of time.

For the last week I have had an unusual conversation with God…

For an entire week I had $50 sitting in my wallet that I couldn’t spend. I tried everything I imaginable to spend it, but it was impossible. Every time I went to use it I felt God say “leave it there, use your creditcard”. I began to get restless and annoyed at why I couldn’t spend the money. Each time I asked ‘why’ He wouldn’t answer.

This started Tuesday and didn’t finish till Friday night where I was traveling to Brisbane and stopped at the BP roadhouse for a break. I was so hungry but I had no money except for the $50 I couldn’t spend. So I just sat down inside. As I sat there I noticed an elderly lady cleaning. She would slowly weave in and out of other diners clearing plates and wiping tables. She had no real motivation. Her face was weary and he hands were slow.

I sat and watched. You could tell she would be any place but here. She rarely showed expressions except the occasional sigh or frown at the frustration of those around her that ignored her and just left her with more cleaning at hand.

As I sat and watched I suddenly felt God say “give her your $50”... so I did…

Looking back on that experience I felt so stupid questioning God as to why I couldn’t spend the $50. I got so caught up in my own understanding of life that I disregarded the whole reason God refused me the money.

The fact that I learn best through life experience is so testing sometimes.

I received more joy from the look on her face as I told her I was giving her $50 to say thank you for doing such an incredible job cleaning. Then I ever would have received on anything worth $50.

I love the verse in Isaiah 40:31 – But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not grow weary; they shall walk and not grow faint.

It is imperative that we wait upon the Lord in our lives. The Phrase ‘wait upon’ means to ‘rely fully’. We must rely fully in Him. It is at that point that our hearts become desperate, our faith is proved and our hope is purified. It is in these stages that our dependence upon God grows.

My dependence increased as my bank balance decreased. Each time I was refused the ability to spend I was humbled, because there were sometimes I had to go without and then sometimes I was totally tempted to just spend the money.

Totally relying on God isn’t always easy. Our heart is often crying out in agony. We feel oppressed and constrained. We yearn for freedom and provision.
I was in such need for the $50 that I was forced to look to the Lord for help.

What I love about total dependence on God is that there is always a positive outcome.

As the verse says: ‘But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not grow weary; they shall walk and not grow faint.’

I was totally renewed. My day was lifted. I walked away a new man. I walked away with an understanding of what it actually meant to wait upon the Lord. But not only that. I endured a week of testing to be blessed at the beginning of the new week. I had a friend message me and say he would pay for my Hillsong trip.

Ultimately waiting upon God protects us, deepens our trust in Him, forces us to seek His ways and brings Him the most glory. They are times the Lord is testing whether we are really seeking Him and His ways.

Bring on another test ☺


- Reuben Skewes